You'll Be In My Heart

I have always loved the movie "Tarzan." Every time I watch it I cry... never fails.

Grieving is a long process. I'm going pretty well but I have my moments. I was listening to my trusty ipod yesterday when I played "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins. Now, it wasn't the sappy music that made me almost gush but it was the thought behind some of the lyrics.

For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

Right now there is a hole in my heart left by two small little boys. I long to hold them again and to see them again but that will never happen (at least not on this side of heaven). The hole is left by losing them physically but they are very much a part of mine and Matt's lives. I'm confident that not a day will go by when I don't think of them and how good it was to be able to hold them at least once. They will always hold a very special place in my heart... even after we have other children. We will not forget them nor will we shy away from the chance to tell you about them.

Why can't they understand
The way we feel
They just don't trust
What they can't explain

No one understands what Matt and I are feeling. Even when someone goes through a similar situation, we all grieve differently, we react and respond to life's situations differently. Please remember when you know someone who is going through a difficult time to never ever say to them "I know how you feel or I know what you're going through." It never makes the person feel better. Chances are it makes them feel worse. If you must say something, just share your story (if they feel like listening) and say "I don't know how you're feeling but I'm here if you need something." (Before any of you start to wonder if you did this with me by accident, know that only once person dared to say "I know what you're feeling" and its no one who reads my blog.)

Most of our friends and family have accepted mine and Matt's beliefs. We have no doubts in where our little boys are now. We know our Heavenly Father is holding them close and caring for them now. We know our little boys did not suffer and that at the moment of their death, they were taken to heaven for eternity. There are a few out there who I am sure think this is crazy and they can't understand it. Without our faith and the comfort i knowing where our boys are and that we will see them again, I think I would have gone crazy by now.

Continue to pray for us as we heal. We appreciate it.