So Proud

Ok... I need to brag right now. Dad presented his big check to the Children's Miracle Network today. We had all been speculating about the amount we thought he raised but no one was sure how much it would be. Well.... I am excited to say he just presented a check for $8,990! How cool is he?! To put that in perspective for you, a few minutes before his presentation, Costco of Myrtle Beach presented their check. Costco does millions of dollars of sale every year. This one store raised a little over $6,000 and my dad, through his hard work and efforts raised almost $9,000! Woo Hoo! I can't wait to post pictures! I'm sure my video won't come out great but I tried to record the video of his presentation with my digital camera.

Anyways, leave some comments or if you want to email my dad and tell him just how cool you think he is too, jeric244@bellsouth.net.

cb

Long Day

Well it was a long day...longer for those that rode their bikes for 40 miles though. Things went smoothly. Dad did great! There was no way I could have rode a bike that far and towards the end they were supposed to take one route and the cop changed the route at the last minute and the folks on bikes had to go up this big hill; yay they made it! Then Dad was introduced to the crowd of people there and they presented him with a "Champion Medal" for all the work he's done. I am so proud of him. I'll post pictures once I get home and can get them on my computer.

This is my first trip away from Matt since we've been married and I don't like it. I like sleeping next to him and I like waking up next to him. I don't like sleeping three hours away.

cb

There isn't much I miss....

There really isn't much I miss about Hartsville. Its where I grew up and its small.... really small when compared to Greenville. I remember when I first moved to Greenville I was absolutely amazed by how large everything was and thought it was ridiculous that to get anywhere in Greenville you always got on the interstate. In Hartsville you could be from one side of town to the next in 10 minutes and that was during busy traffic and catching all the red lights. Heck... the closest interstate is at last 20 minutes away. But as my mom and I were driving in tonight I remembered something I do miss. I could see the stars... hundreds of them. From our house in Greenville (only five minutes from downtown) you can see about 10 stars. I'm not kidding. You never see enough to make you say "it sure is a pretty night." But riding in I looked out the window and the sky was so dark and unpolluted by orange city lights and in every direction I could see beautiful twinkling stars. You folks in Greenville are missing out.

Well, tomorrow is dad's fund-raising bike ride. I hope to post some pictures when we get back to Greenville on Sunday. Let's pray for plenty of sunshine and lots of strength for dad.

Will write soon.

cb

Reflections

Over the last week, I've had many questions and I've pondered the why's and the what ifs about my pregnancy. I understand that my miscarriage was decided at the moment of conception. When a baby is conceived, 13 chromosomes come from the dad and 13 from the mom. Miscarriages occur when there are too many or not enough chromosomes. God designed our bodies to realize that something is not right with the pregnancy and our body ends the pregnancy. With that being said, it still doesn't make the grieving process any easier. What does help? Well... Keith, being the wonderful pastor that he is, came over to talk and encourage us last Friday. It was good to just talk through some things. I had decided in my heart years ago that Scripture says that a baby receives its soul at the moment of conception but I needed to ask Keith this question to have it affirmed for me. Keith agreed and led me to some scriptures I hadn't read before.

Any good Biblical scholar will tell you that the Old Testament foreshadows what will happen in the New Testament. I'll give you an example so that you don't get lost. In the New Testament, Christ died that so His lost children could be saved and would reach Heaven. In the Old Testament the Israelites were lost and God led them to the Promised Land (a physical place). So, read Deuteronomy 1:39 "And as for your little ones, who you said would become a prey, and your children, who today have no knowledge of good and evil, they shall go in there. And to them I will give it[the promised land], and they shall possess it." So if you understand the relationship between the Old and New Testaments you will make the connection that the "little ones who have no knowledge of good and evil" (which means they are not aware of their sins) will enter into Heaven. Take this one step further and look at what it means for Matt and I. It means our little tiny baby, who by nature was sinful but unaware of any sin, is today in heaven. Its a comforting thought. Now I know this will bring up the question of "at what age is one aware of their sin?" and that has to be considered on a case by case basis. One has to be able to put the head and heart knowledge together. You can realize a need for a Savior but until you realize how bad sin really is you can't really appreciate the free gift of salvation. Oh boy, I'm on a soapbox I never intended to step on.

Back to my original reason for my entry. Sorry I'm rambling.

I've been looking to scripture for some verses that lift my spirit and I've found great strength this week in Psalm 103.

The God of the Bible, the God of Psalm 103 is the God who

vs. 3 forgives and heals
vs 4 redeems and crowns
vs. 5 satisfies
vs. 8 is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love
vs. 13 shows compassion

and we can read in verses 11 and 12 "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as fast as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us."

vs. 1 "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name."

The God of the Bible is a good God, He is faithful and wishes that not one of His children would perish. Do you know Him?

comments welcome.

cb

Need Sleep.....

Last night I laid down, read a little out of my Thomas Jefferson book, then read a few pages out of the Psalms, turned on Robin Mark on my ipod and drifted off to sleep. I fell asleep so easily and it felt so good.... but it didn't last long. Matt came to bed a few hours later and for the rest of the night, I tossed, I turned, I laid there staring at darkness. Sure I have a lot on my mind but I was pretty relaxed and can't figure out why I couldn't sleep. So the alarm went off at 7:45 and I think that was about the time my body decided to doze off to sleep. UGH! I went and had my bloodwork done. Lets pray that my hcg levels have dropped so that I don't have to keep going back once a week to have blood drawn.

Now, I'm gonna try to lay down and get some rest. Maybe an animal or two will cuddle up next to me and I will be able to sleep.

Goodnight.

State of the Economy

So, I had a moment. Maybe you have these kinds of moments where you've been expecting or possibly dreading something and then suddenly you have a "moment" because you realize it is quickly approaching and well.... there is nothing you can do about it. So, I'm sitting at work and since there isn't much to be done around here, I found myself staring at the calendar. Next thing you know, I'm counting. Counting today, there are exactly 20 days left at my current job. Do I have a new job up? No. Do I have any prospects? Not really. What am I going to do? You probably know as much as I do.

Unfortunately, me and all my coworkers find ourselves looking for jobs in one of the worst times to be looking. Unemployment rates are high but no one is hiring because everyone is hurting over the price of gas and loads of other commodities that are being effected by the price of gas as well. (i.e. in my previous post I mentioned my love for milk. Did you know that milk at Bi-Lo is almost $2 more per gallon than at Wal-Mart? I know Wal-Mart can buy in bigger bulk and thus not have to charge as much but good grief a $2 difference?!) So, anyways, we find ourselves looking for jobs in a time when the economy stinks. A few people here and there have found jobs. I'm glad they are but I need one too! I mean I'm even looking for things that I know I'm way-over qualified for. I'm not trying to sound conceited. I just know I worked hard for a Bachelors degree, I'd like to use it.

Hmmmm.... mental block. I'll write more later.

Back to the Grind

Well, after a break from working.... I have to go back tomorrow. Sigh. I can't complain though since I have Friday off and that means another long weekend. We're all looking forward to Dad completing his much-anticipated bike ride. He'll leave the Applebee's in Hartsville on Friday at 1:00 pm and ride 40 miles to McLeod Regional Hospital in Florence. He's been working and training hard and it will be so much fun to see him complete something for which he's worked so hard.

A couple of days ago, Beth tagged me. While I'm not positive, I think it means I'm supposed to blog about the ten things I love most about my husband, so here we go in no particular order.

1. Matt strives to be and enjoys being the spiritual leader in our home. He is an amazing leader and someone from whom I can always ask advice knowing I'll get a Godly response.
2. Matt has a great moral ethic. He works hard and takes pride in his work, always trying to please those in charge and manage to keep the customer happy.
3. I absolutely love watching Matt lead worship on Sunday mornings at church. He spends time on Saturday evenings preparing so that we sing the songs the Holy Spirit impresses on his heart. Worship is always a wonderful experience and he gets to lead us before the throne of God.
4. You may or may not know that I think milk is the greatest beverage in the world. I love it when, without ever asking, Matt brings me a tall cold glass of milk. It tells me that he pays attention to the little things and I love that.
5. When Matt and I are facing a difficult situation or have to make important situations, I love it when he looks at me and says "Crystal lets pray."
6. I love that Matt takes pride in his appearance and if you know Matt well, in the way he smells. I love that I know "his smell." One of our couples devotion books asks if you think you could pick out your spouse by smell if you were blindfolded. I love that with no doubts at all, I know I could pick him out by smell. I love it when I go to bed and I can snuggle against him or his pillow and smell him. Something about it just makes me feel safe and lets me know he is near.
7. I love that Matt has passion. He has dreams and is passionate about his golf game. He wants to play professionaly and whether he ever reaches that dream or not, I admire him for having a dream and working to pursue it.
8. I love that even when Matt and I have had some really... really rough times in the last eight years, Matt has been steadfast and strong and always been a constant.
9. I love to watch Matt when his "fellas" come over to play ball on the playstation. They are so funny together and they have so much fun like kids.
10. I love that Matt is a Godly man. I know that I've said I admire him for being the spiritual leader in our home, but I also love that outside of our home, in every realm of life, Matt strives to be a Godly man.

Well, there ya go.

For reasons unknown to us here on this earth, God decided our little one would be better off with Him. He allowed us the joy of the thought of becoming parents and we pray He will bless us again with that joy someday. In the meantime, we grieve over one who we were rather attached to though we never saw it or heard its little heart beat. We appreciate your prayers.

cb

Waiting

So, I woke up yesterday morning and found myself absolutely terrified. I had some bleeding which no pregnant woman wants to see. I called the doctor's on call service and they told me to be at the office when it opened. I had bloodwork done and an ultrasound. It looks like my uterine wall is still thick which is a good thing. I go back tomorrow for more bloodwork and then go on Friday for the results of my bloodwork. I'm spending the rest of the week just laying around at home not doing much of anything. Just say some prayers for our little one. Thanks.

Mmmmmm

Being pregnant does such weird things to your body. It causes you to be moody, irritable, causes you to be hot one minute and freezing the next, certain smells make you want to barf, etc. The strangest thing to me is the food cravings. Things I used to love I don't even want near me and right now I think I could eat pizza morning, noon, and night. Weird.

So tired.

Well, Me, Nacho, Oreo, Peanut, and Pixie are all watching Scooby-Doo and laying around. I'm not sleeping well at night so I got a little extra rest this morning. I haven't been sick the last few days but Dr. Giep was rather confident that my morning sickness wouldn't really start up til next week. I guess we'll wait and see. I do stay incredibly tired all the time and there are several foods that absolutely gross me out.

I have one week or work and then next week I only work Tuesday-Thursday. Mom and I get to go home Thursday evening to see dad. He'll do his bike ride on Friday morning. That should be exciting.

I don't understand how anyone can dream of abortion. I'm only five weeks and one day and I'm already rather attached to my little baby. I talk to the baby and I am constantly worried that things are developing propertly.

Well, enough for now.

cb

Long overdue

I know. I'm such a slacker. It has been so long since an update so I'll try to fill you in on what's going on in the Brewer house.

Last time I wrote much was the weekend mom and dad came to visit. Well, since then... mom transferred to the same Wal-Mart that Matt works at. She gets to decorate cakes full-time and loves it. She's really enjoying the atmosphere and the people she works with. She's living with us in our guest room downstairs which has been nice and she helps us out so much with cleaning and preparing dinner and taking care of the animals. Dad stayed behind in Hartsville and is waiting patiently to sell the house. We're hoping it sells real soon.

Things are going well for Matt at work as well.

I'm still at my job until the end of June and then I'll be released. I haven't found many leads in the form of jobs but I'm sure God will provide one in His timing.

When Mom moved in, so did Peanut. Peanut is a miniature dachshund who is really cute but ALL puppy. She seems to really like black flip flops. haha Oreo liked her right away. It took Nacho some time to warm up to her and even longer for Pixie but slowly everyone is getting along better.

Well, our big news this weekend is that Matt and i are going to be parents. We had our first doctor's appointment yesterday. I'm only four weeks along so he wouldn't give us a definite due date but it should be around January 17th. I go back on June 19th and at that point we'll be able to see the baby on ultrasound and hear the heartbeat. Its all very exciting but overwhelming as well. Because of my polycystic ovarian syndrome, I am at a higher risk for miscarriage so I need to take some extra medicines and take extra caution so that I don't get hurt. Easier said than done since I'm such a clutz. Mom is making sure to wait on my hand and foot. :-P

All of the grandparents are very excited and I can't wait to see all of them with their first grandchild.

Dad's bike ride is coming up on May 30th. He's gonna ride 43 miles from Hartsville to Florence to raise money for the Children's Miracle Network.

Well, I'll write more later. I'll get myself back in the habit of writing again.

later.
cb

have news... will post it soon. promise.